Goodbye Solaris Part 2

Payload Specialist (PS) Charlie Beck [personal log – shuttle day 536]

[20:47 28/Mar/2048] 

Today is the last day that I will be on this shuttle and I’m so excited for tomorrow! We finally got close range comms with The Solaris earlier today, after orbiting mercury for ages (well 4 days but still!) The Solaris will be coming into orbit with mercury so we can dock and swap crews. 

As we are going to be docking with the station we needed to stop the artificial gravity on the shuttle. Some of the crew are pretty annoyed about it because sleeping is always hard to do in microgravity, but me, I love it because it was how the old astronauts slept before rotational habitation modules (RHM) where made. The way the legendary crews slept on the International Space Station during my childhood, like Commander Chris Hadfield and his mighty moustache, was the first Canadian to command the ISS. As well as Tim Peake, the first British astronaut to do a spacewalk. Today when I finished my preparations for docking and came into my quarters I saw that my Lego International Space Station that I got for my eighth birthday was floating around as the crew quarters are in the RHM. 

The shuttle medical officer told us a few days ago when we are on the Solaris to try and make as many logs as we can, as the Solaris often loses communication with GOLDCOM due to solar radiation masking signals or completely misguiding them sending them past the sun into deep space. Anyway, she said that we should write in them frequently and with a Fairmount of detail so when we have some time to ourselves we can let what happened in the day come out as we cant talk with GOLDCOM or our families. She also said that I should let my autism out and have it run free and like explain every little thing I can about the stuff up here and what thighs mean. 

I was thinking of when I get back to the goldilocks zone I can turn these logs into a book. Yeah sorry, I should explain then what  GOLDCOM is. GOLDCOM is the central station that commands every spaceflight operation. It’s kinda like the death star, I think that’s what its called, I used to love those old films when I was a kid, yeah so if your a kid reading this ask someone old what Star Wars is and they will tell you all about it, hell if your lucky someone might still have a DVD player and play it for you. Anyway, GOLDCOM is a space station a bit smaller than the earth’s moon is the centre of the CESE universe as it controls all the sectors. 

[Message: LMS.CTA@MUR-shuttle to CommanderPCR@SOL.STN – Sent at: 07:24 28/Mar/2048]

Hello Commander Paz Crest 

As we are in rage I am now able to send you the crew personnel files and main payload log of me and my arriving crew for the MSTS: Mission Moros (Medium range Space Transportation System)

Personnel Files 

[Payload specialist (PS)- Charlie Beck age: 36. Beck is accompanying their data collector and probs to further out knowledge on the sun. Beck is notable for being non-binary and using they/them pronouns, they are the fifth LGBT astronaut. The first being Sally Ride (notable for being apart of both challenger and Columbia shuttle investigations.)]  {Read more}

[ECAF flight engineer (ECAFFE) – Aleksandra Kot age 42. At 18 (2024) Kot enlisted in the newly formed Earth Coalition Armed Forces,  air division established after the 2022 people uprising to maintain peace being stationed in her home country of Belarus and across the European state. She rose to the rank of Major and joined the CESE through being an experienced pilot both in combat and for testing prototype aircraft.]  {Read more}

[Lead Mission specialist (LMS) – Christofer Taylor age 46. Taylor is a veteran astronaut he was a key member of the CESE’s expansion on earth moon and many other smaller but vital missions to establish the Goldilocks Zone as the command centre of interplanetary travel and exploration]  {Read more}

Main Payload log

Solar probe and solar observation and collection devices – Assigned crew: PS Charlie Beck

[REDACTED by ECAFFE Kot and LMS Taylor – contact GOLDCOM for authorisation and permission for unredacted information] – Assigned crew: CEAFFE Kot and Commander Paz Crest

Commander Crest, it is a massive honour to be your second in command when we dock and start Mission Moros tomorrow.

Interstellar wishes,

LMS Christofer Taylor.

If you have enjoyed that please consider following this or my whattpad account as I intend to keep writing more things.

Update – 16/Jun/2020

Hey. So I havent done this this a while as i have been doing prettymuch nothing due to being in lockdown.

But last night I did do something. I wrote a short (like really really bloody short) story about a astronaut who was on a EVA and their tether got cut and they are flying towards the sun and we are reading the transcript of the last message they make.

Anyway overall three things, 1. I’m not dead 2. I have not forgotten about this and 3. I aim to add stuff to this again. Sorry for this being so short goodbye

Goodbye Solaris

Payload Specialist(PS) Charlie Beck [SUIT and AUDIO log transcript]

[16:35 23/Apr/2051]

So…I fucked up hard…and well I’m fucked

[Rapid beeping]

Hang on let me turn that off I want to die in peace FOR GOD SAKE!

[Laughing/Crying] [SUIT: low.pressure.alarm – muted. low.O2.alarm – muted.]

Where was I? Oh yeah. So this is going to be my last… well everything, all because of a fucking drill. Who knew that a drill could cause an astronaut to get flung towards the sun. It’s ironic really


I always loved the sun. That’s why I was on The Solaris Station for my research about the sun as that’s why The Solaris orbits the sun.

[Fans from within the helmet. Silence from PS Beck]

So I’m guessing when I transmit this the CESE (Coalition of Earth for Space Exploration) would want to know what the fuck actually happened… well guys I was out on my spacewalk to repair and do maintenance on a few solar cells on the starboard side of The Solaris. Like normal, I used the drill to unbolt a cell to repair it and my tether must have got court or something because then I felt a thud through me. So something had to have shattered and flew towards my visor. My ears popped… so something must have gone… gone fucking through. I.I…I er can’t remember anything else 

[Weeping then a deep breath]

My sun visor must be fucked as I can feel my face has been burnt and I can feel a blob of blood under my snoopy cap. I have been turning myself away from the sun with the air coming out my glove cos… Well if I didn’t I would be blinder than the Canadian astronaut who went blind during a spacewalk from our history books.

[Long high pitch beeping] [SUIT: O2.tank 11% remaning_alarm – active.]


[Screaming] [SUIT: Damage detected: DAMAGE REPORT – Left.glove_left.arm – SUIT BREACH DETECTED – damage 31% – increasing backfill of N2.] [SUIT: CO2 filter damaged – DAMAGE REPORT – ERROR_UNRESPONSIVE.]

Bollocks… I’ve had a fucking paddy and now fucked myself harder SHIT! But at least I can say I went down with a fight… with my spacesuit. I buggered it but I still had a fight and fucked it up more!

[laughing then a Deep Breathing from PS BECK]

I’m pretty close to the sun now I can feel it. It’s really hot. I’m going to transmit this now before it’s too late.

[SUIT: transmission from SUIT.LOG to SOL.STN searching for SOL.STN SIGNAL]

Good, I want the last moments of my life to be used for good so CESE knows what happened and that I haven’t just fucked up and going to die and no one knows why.

[Beeping. PS BECK – deep breathing ] [SUIT: CO2.level – 1%.updated – 2%. O2.tank – 5%_remaining. N2.Tank – 4%_remaining.]

I’m starting to feel sleepy… I think. The CO2 is getting high. I know humans pass out at…errr… four percent? Anyway, let’s stop thinking about the inevitable and…Erm…

[Beeping from alarms. Silence from PS BECK – 16:38]

16:42 – [SUIT: CO2.level – 3%. O2.tank 10.5%_remaining. N2.tank – 5%_remaining – BACKFILL TERMINATED N2 BELOW 5%. EMERGENCY OXYGEN BACKFILL ENGAGED.] HEAT.ALARM: SUIT_97_degrees.Centigrade]

16:44 [Coughing and slurring speech]

Shit… I must have fallen asleep crap. It’s really fucking hot.  Mum and Dad, this is the last time you will ever hear my voice and I want to say that I love you. I hope I made you proud… Alex my love I love you so much with all of my heart I’m sorry to leave like this and I hope you and Doug the best as even without me were still a family… I love you… all but I…  want to see the sun…

[Screaming…silence from PS BECK] 



16:58 [SUIT: Transmission.sent][SUIT: MEDICAL ALERT: astronaut.PS.BECK UNRESPONSIVE – 0BPM – duration.<5mins – astronaut.PS.BECK_life status_DECEASED] 


17:03 [SUIT: SEVERE.HEAT.DAMAGE – HEAT: ERROR_ABOVE_400_degrees_Centigrade]



If you have enjoyed that please consider following this or my whattpad account as I intend to keep writing more things.

Michael Giacchino

Michael Giacchino is an American composer that has composed many games, films TV shows and even rides at Disney land. His most notable work is with many Pixar films such as the Incredibles 1 and 2, Ratatouille and UP. His most recent released work has been scoring the film Jojo Rabbit. I really like Giacchino’s work as it is always has a large amount of range and is very good at telling a story even without seeing the film. as some people who know me in the flash might know I really like film scores so he is one of many that I will be talking about here

Click Here to see my top songs from him

Weekly Update 02/May/2020

Hi everybody, this week has been OK. For the last 4 days, I haven’t really been doing much here (which I will try to make up for I promise) as I have been filming/ making something to go onto youtube which you can watch below if you like.

Now, after that shameless plug, this week has not been that eventful for me the only thing I really have done is jet wash my garden path which has changed from a horrible dark grey to a very bright in the morning beige, which honestly I never knew it was that colour. I also watched a lot of YouTube and started to reread Radio Silence by Alice Oseman (who I love and Click Here if you want to know more about them.) As well as the filming and editing of Jessop Station.

One really good thing about this week is that I found one Video that I found pretty good to try and get into the swing of things in lockdown especially if you like space (which you know I do ha!).  

Another really good thing that happened this week was that half-alive has released their new album In Florence as well as some music videos (I will be making a post about that in music after this goes up and you can see it here if you want to.)

Also, I will be doing more on the Grey Room Studio front of the site so if you like my stop-motion keep an eye out every few days or follow if you want. That’s basically it for this week I aim to start another stop motion thing tomorrow as that would be a lot shorter than Jessop Station.

girl in red

girl in red is Marie Ulven Ringheim she is form Norway. She is a lesbian and many of her songs and music videos reflect her queer identity. I really like her music I cant describe what abut it really draws me in to loving her music but it does and I am happy that it does as she is a really good artist.

If you want to listen to some of her songs that I like click Here

About Me – Books – Alice Oseman

I am queer and I really like reading, so naturally, I really like queer books. I found it hard for me to find queer books that I like as im not the biggest fan of romance. One writer that I found that I really really like is Alice Oseman as their books have very good queer representation as well as having really good storylines and show that romantic relationships are not always the most important as platonic ones should be viewed as equally important to have and value as romantic ones. 

I discovered their books last year and got Heartstopper Vol. 1 & 2, and Radio Silence. I have never been into/ excited by the romance genre but with Heartstopper, it is different as I find it more personal as it does not only show being romantic as a queer person but it shows very clearly that queer people are people which is hard to find in media across the board. Radio silence for me was brilliant, I read it while on holiday and I find it hard to have a dedicated time for reading when I’m not waiting or travelling in the car or bus, but Radio silence was so good that I couldn’t stop reading it and spent almost all of my time in the hotel room reading because it was that good, and when I finished it I sat back and thought “fuck me that was brilliant” and wanted to read it again. 

A few days ago was my birthday and I got Solitaire and Heartstopper Vol. 3, and I have to say I have never stayed up reading all night, but I did with Heartstopper Vol. 2 and 3 (as I couldn’t remember the ending of 3 I read all of vol 2) I have to say I find Vol. 3 is my personal favourite out of the Heartstopper series and I really can’t wait the volume 4 to come out next year. I am currently reading Radio silence again and when I finish that ill start reading Solitaire and will probably talk about it here. 

If your a fan of me talking about books and the stuff that I like I will probably talk about them more or if you have any book recommendations put them in the comments and if you want to get to know me more keep reading and have a look around the site and follow if you like it 🙂 

Weekly Update – 26/April/2020

Hi everybody, so it has been a bit more than a week, I’m sorry I am a bit crap at finding time for things so think of these weekly updates as weekishly. 

So first thing to say from the time I wrote the last one I have changed the site a lot and have added some stuff to it like the music page and the interesting facts page. Because of this, I will not be including them in the weekly updates as they now have their own place, if you’re interested in them to check it out if you want.  

Lately, I have been getting random waves of sadness for a while, which is strange as I almost always have a feeling of neutrality and nothing. Normally when I feel the stuff I know the reason as it is pretty obvious why. 

I quite often say and do things trying to show how I feel and love Dylan in some weird ways (I haven’t yet done a mating dance but I might do one day you never know ha!). Some of these when I read them back I often go wow that is a very very autistic way of showing someone that you love them, this is what I sent to them. (as you can guess I can handle the feeling of jeans so only wear cargo trousers)

This week I kinda had a mini-meltdown of sorts. Like most days of the lockdown, I have been helping my dad do a lot of things in the garden. I was tasked with painting around a window and had to cover the glass with tape and newspaper, but I Don’t know why that was so difficult and nothing was working and it really pissed me off and I threw the tape across the garden and went to my room to cool off. Writing it down sounds very stupid but it’s kinda close to a full flipping of my shit. I think lockdown is slightly getting to me.  

In lighter news, I have been heavily addicted to Bondi rescue on youtube and I have been watching it non stop I think the only other thing I watched on youtube this week was the Oodie ad (will get into it later) because it came up as an ad before a video of Bondi and the new Tom Scott video because he is amazing and if you have a slight interest in computing or random information or British video law you should watch he is so really very amazingly good click here to go to his channel because I love the stuff he does. Sorry, I may be a tiny bit of a fangirl lol. While watching the Bondi stuff I watched a really funny ad (is the video below this, if your not big on swearing there are a few in there so there not your thing feel free to skip it) for an oodie (a big fluffy jumper) and god is it funny, it feels what I would do it I was in charge of making an advert. 

Yeah, that’s it. I will be updating the About me and Music sections soon as I have thought of what to talk about and a few bands and songs that I was going to add so look around and follow me if you liked this and want to hear more or if you like my music taste cos I feel I will do them a lot.

About Me – Part 2

A purple fleur de lis inside a ring of rope tied in a reef knot.

To see part 1 click here

One major part of my life is Scouting. I am a Young Leader for Beavers (6-8 years old), Cubs (8-10 years old) and Scouts (10-14 years old). My role is to assist the adult leaders as well as taking responsibility for young people and doing activities and games with them. This has really helped me in many ways. 

Firstly, the most visible difference for me was that I was more confident in myself. More importantly, I have more confidence in being outside the house on my own. Before becoming a Young Leader I always struggled and was very anxious and found it hard to be out of the house on my own without my parents. Due to this I never really wanted to leave the house and would only go out for school as I get transport there. I do not know why but someone being with me has always lowered my levels of anxiety a bit and made it bearable to go outside the house. The scout hut where my group meets is very close to my house, this, alongside getting back into scouting (I was a cub and really enjoyed but was not able to cope going up to scouts and left.) made me push myself and become a Young Leader. I am really happy that I did this, as I really enjoy all aspects of scouting. 

Despite my large growth in confidence, I still get anxious when I am out on my own, but no where near as much. Because of this I still heavily rely on headphones and fidget toys to help me when I am out alone. (if your the same I would recommend that you look here as I start to list the artists/songs that I like/help me.) The change is really noticeable as now I am able to walk 2.9km to my district HQ for meetings every few months before I would be hesitant to go to the CO-OP at the end of my road let alone through and across the town where I live. 

Another really good thing is that funnily enough being a Young Leader has helped with my leadership skills. This has been more useful than I expected when I started thinking about what having better leadership skills have done. It has made me able to communicate a little better, I am still not the best at getting my point across, but I am getting better and this helps in both scouting, as it is easier for the young people to learn about what to do, as well as in my personal life as I can explain why something needs to be done (oftentimes seen as useless to others but important for me) in a clearer way than before.

Create your website with
Get started